Thursday, April 1, 2010

A Night In LoliLand...

March 31st 2009, New York New York If you can make it here you can make it anywhere, we will have to just see about that. Now today was a good day handled some business that I've been avoiding for the last year and wanted to celebrate my triumph by dancing the night away to some dirty tech house music.

I decide to log on to the matrix and plug into the facebook checking my in box, after digging through the pounds of watered down events, one name caught my attention LoLi. I can never forget Dj Loli, the Hollywood Nights that lasted through sunday funday, the club circuit, racing through the venues like a tweeker gone wild, dancing to a endless rhythm of drums through the early morning to the next night back to the early morning, the marathon people a tribe of jet setters and junkies the best of the best, and Loli, was the master of the their universe, her energy was alien out of this world, indeed.

I would pull a Hunter S. Thompson before I missed this gig. So I put on my chucks and headed towards "Woody's NYC". Now something in the name of the venue should have gave it away "Woody's" like the woodpecker. I'm use to seeing Loli in front of 3,000 strong coked up x'd out enthusiast of the underground world we call dance, but this venue even with its comfortable atmosphere just seemed to be lacking something.

I walk in no line, extra early and found a spot at the bar, a sausage fest indeed, not a single women in this plastic attempt of a marble master piece, except for this manly looking thing in 8 inch heels at the other end of the bar that keeps winking at me "She really needs to do something about that weave it looks like a drag" I think to myself. So I order up, the bartender with the ricky martin smile keeps giving me this stare that would give dracula tremors, "I want the most tropical fruity drink available" said I to the bartender, "You can have it where ever you like" said the bartender to me.

I've never had service like this two ten gallon cups of tropical eruption for the price of one, the drinks intoxicate me, the most hearty of animals, I've gone a week strong surviving on nothing more then scotch,coke,x & weed. But this gay ass drink has me feeling like I'm in Cancun at Club La Boom high on fumes and a couple of shrooms. The Liquor is moving me, "what's the deal" I say to the bartender, "Waz's up with this sausage fest mate" in a Brad Pitt Inglorious Bastered Accent, "it's not a fest its a buffet" all while licking his lips like L.L Cool J and again with that Ricky Martin Smile. It finally dawned on me this MNFN LoLi has me at the Blue Oyster, A Rainbow Parade for the number one gangster, what have I got myself into this time.

Life's Love So I'm Going in hard regardless of the crowd adorned in leather and chains,I never have any problem with fun boys, I just don't have fun with boys, nobody is poking me except on facebook. After what seemed like a eternity in purgatory, Loli drops in, fabulous as always, she hits the decks an arranges some deep, hard and heavy electro sounds that would have made Trent Reznor proud.

This place has to be a velvet underground.

Only in New York. So my first gay bar and I'm still walking straight, I guess gay is not contagious, to bad the girlz couldn't be here to accompany me on this qusihomo adventure. Do what you do as long as it does not interfere with me.

Ciao XOXO Aone Tudayoda